We hear a lot of talk these days about the expression of
our feelings. There are many fine facilitators who help us
clarify and express our feelings.
The feeling of the year coming up for release is anger
the big A. Everybody's talking about their anger, anger
with the past, anger with the governmental system, anger
with parents, anger over past injustices that seem to violate
the very fabric of who we believe ourselves to be. It is
very appropriate to touch base with and experience our feelings.
Every experience in our lives has given us the opportunity
to grow to a greater understanding of ourselves. So, that's
the gift. This gift of potential understanding is in every
experience.
However, I have found that it is indicative of the human
condition to want to do away with anything that is not in
keeping with the new spiritual definition of who we are and
who we are supposed to be. To be this new light shining forth,
ushering in the next Millennia, brings a tendency to believe
that our feelings are less than spiritual. In our desire
to be the perfect picture of the Whole we think we should
be, something very interesting has come about that I call
metaphysical denial.
We walk around sending love and light and affirming that
we are one with divine source. However, should we feel agitation,
fear, or emotion begin to rise in us, we deny and speak the
affirmation of its opposite. This used to be called stuffing
our stuff in the 1970s, only now we call it turning away
from the condition. However, a condition can signal distress
something that does warrant our attention and redirection.
I believe that if we can be comfortable with our feelings,
we can focus and channel our energy in a way that activates
the changes we would like to see in our world. As long as
we are not consciously directive of our feelings, our resistance
to ourselves and our feelings gives power to the very thing
we oppose. And, I've seen the denial of feelings to the degree
that all of a sudden the feelings are erupting like a volcano.
The person can then feel a lot of guilt. Oh my! That just
wasn't spiritual!
It has been my personal experience that this no longer works
for me. It has become inappropriate to hold anger until I'm
spewing it all over another individual, because the energy
attached to the anger is very poisonous and vile. It has
been held in for a long time and has taken the color of negativity
from anything within me that is unresolved at the time, resentment,
fear, or the feeling of being out of control. There is force
behind this possible eruption and, in the consciousness,
I have a responsibility to be what I call, on to myself.
I have learned that there is a brief moment in which we can
choose to react or respond. To react always comes from a
base of fear: fear of being out of control, fear of rejection,
fear of abandonment. In our withholding of these feelings
from ourselves, we unconsciously project and attract another
individual to play along for us. We can vicariously live
our denied feelings through the other person. We blame them
so we can feel justified in our anger.
It has helped me to come to terms with my anger to realize
that everything in this world of form, everything around
us is the divine, the Source seeking to know and understand
itself through this form. Form is the vehicle through which
consciousness evolves. We are consciousness evolving through
form. If I truly understand this than I know that everything,
every expression, is consciousness seeking to know itself.
When I am aware of this, I am connected fully as this consciousness
and directive of this energy. I have choice, volition, and
I can choose how I wish to direct the consciousness that
I am.
Whenever feelings begin to come up for you, first take a
very deep breath and hold the breath within you. Know this
breath as it connects with the light in every cell of who
you are, tapping the potentiality that you have for choice.
Next, look at how relevant what you are feeling really is
to the moment. Most feelings have basis in the past, and
trigger points in the present. Are you really angry with
the individual, or are you angry with the reenactment of
an old pattern that you are feeling? When the interaction
touches this old pattern, it causes a reaction of resistance.
Look very deeply. The consciousness of who we are works very
quickly and it simply takes focus to realize that there is
always an answer present that serves us in growth.
Third, if you still feel very agitated and tense, take another
breath. Simply tell the individual or individuals that you
are experiencing this situation and that you need some time
alone. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into discussion
at that time. It is important that you gather your thoughts,
come to some resolution, some understanding, before you choose
to engage any further in the interaction.
Fourth, after doing this be wholly responsible for your feelings
regardless of whether they are relevant to the past or present.
Talk to the individual or individuals involved. Be honest
about your feelings. Share what you have found. Be vulnerable.
Allow the other person to see the humanity of who you are.
In the heart, we all resonate and respond to this humanity.
Finally, cut yourself some slack. It is only through our
understanding of our humanity that we rise to our divinity.
We aspire to our divinity through understanding our humanity.
This is truly what Jesus meant when he said, You see before
you the son of man and the Son of God. Know that there really
is no separation. Every individual stands on holy ground
and gifts us, from their heart, the reflection of ourselves
and the opportunity of growth. Let it be a dance: a dance
of joy, a dance of thanksgiving, of understanding, willingness,
laughter, sharing, giving, and receiving. After all, we are
the Source recognizing itself through the form of everything
we experience.
